TL;DR: About 20 minutes.
For decades man has been telling woman, “hold on honey, there’s only two minutes left in the game!” Twenty five minutes later, after her patience has slowly evaporated and she’s stomped out of the room, somehow there are still thirty seconds left to play. This is the nature of sports; the numbers on the clock betray the reality of the situation. It’s the worst in American football, but even soccer misleads women and girlfriends all across the world; the game is ninety minutes long, yet some Italian man named Icardi just scored in the 93rd.
more “How Long is a Game of FIFA 18?”
As of UTC+18:00 (or 6:00 pm London time), EA Sports has unveiled FIFA Ultimate Team’s latest special card pack: Path to Glory. Much like In-Form cards or the more recent Scream cards, these 25 just-released players boast increased stats, and a never before seen purple/pink colorway. more “FUT Roundup: FIFA Path to Glory Cards Explained”
If you ever go head to head with a squad in Ultimate Team which features a teal player card (or cyan, as EA Sports would rather you call them) you should savor the moment, as you are truly in the presence of greatness. more “‘Cyan Player Cards,’ the Best FIFA FUT Card You Will Never Have (Ever)”
Friends, family, foes; we have reached the conclusion of the second leg of the UEFA Champions’ League Semifinals, and the verdict is in. The two sides to dig their studs into the grass of the Olimpiastadion in Berlin on June 5th are La Liga’s FC Barcelona, and Serie A’s Juventus. more “UCL Second Leg: Summary and Conclusion”
For this week’s sexually arousing backheel, we have the perennial Übermensch candidate Manuel Neuer (or Man, to which his teammates cleverly shorten his devastatingly cumbersome first name) being an absolute fucking beast. more “Manuel Neuer Holds Ethereal R1 button, Passes to Teammate”
Well, it’s Tuesday which can only mean one thing… it’s time for the sexually arousing backheel of the week! Last week’s uncomfortable degree of intimacy was brought to you by the bottom of Benzema’s right boot; this week its Denmark’s feisty winger Lasse Vibe. more “USMNT Don’t Kill My Vibe: Sexually Arousing Backheel of the Week”
If you missed the meeting of the Spanish giants over the weekend, you missed… well a lot. Although Real saw more of the ball than one might expect them to against such a greedy opponent, and had a first half replete with salient attacking moves, goals from Jeremy Mathieu and Luis Suarez proved to be just enough to send Los Blancos back to the capital four points out of first place in the table. more “In Summary: El Clásico”
In case you missed it a while back (as it’s come to my attention a fuckton of people indeed did), here’s a quick vid of Queen’s Park Rangers’ winger Matt Phillips putting an absolute rocket off the bar and in from just over what we Americans would call “135 feet.” more “Matt Phillips Hits Em with the Wham Once Again”
Welcome to Pitchlord; a blog devoted to world football and FIFA 15, and a whole lot of extraneous unnecessary shit in between. This blog is run and curated by two ignorant, fairly biased Americans whose provinciality often outweighs their wisdom. That being said, we fucking rule at FIFA and are on the worldwide top 100 leaderboard in co-op play. If you have content or opinions feel free to drop a line, and we”ll post it up and take all credit for it. Fair play, mates, and cheers (I went to London one time).