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Players Behaving Badly: Daniel Carvajal Edition

In a match where tensions ran high from the outset, and Real Madrid saw goalkeeper Jan Oblak doing his best impression of this cat:

one could rightly expect some considerable frustration and apprehension from the Madridistas. Especially from a Real Madrid team that hadn’t lost to Atléti since 1999 (when they lost 3-1 to the relegation bound Atlético Madrid). A team that hadn’t lost to Los Colchaneros in fifteen years suddenly experienced shock and horror on August 22nd 2014 in the Spanish super cup. Fifteen, yes, fifteen years of suffering on the other side of Madrid until that famous win in 2014, the ball falling to the feet of Mario “The Towering Menace” Mandžukić at the Santiago Bernabéu.

(Surprising to see him not score with his head, as some have called him “the greatest header of the ball ever to play the game”)

That was then and this is now. We see a shift, at least in the city of Madrid, where Los Blancos are now decidedly wary of their bitter crosstown foes.

This season sees the Colchaneros undefeated in seven matches, beating the Madridistas four out of those seven. The feverish feeling in the ground, and the frantic and brilliant way that Real came out of the gate was sure to see them through, but luck was not a lady this night, as it were. The second half started more brightly for Atléti and Mandžukić received much more service than in the first, but not always in the most pleasant manner. Enter Daniel Carvajal.

In the inaugural PBBT I want to highlight this play from Daniel “The Tiger-Rat of Leganès” Carvajal:

First I would like to highlight the shall we say “pussy-ass” manner in which Carvajal turned and assailed the God King Mario, secondly I would like to appreciate the way that the God King rightly fell in a heap, and thirdly I would like to give Dani the due respect he deserves for showing his palms to the sky in appeasement to the god king, the incredulous look on his face furthering the age-old traditional Spanish spiritual practice of penance to the ethereal and ultimately awesome Mario Mandžukić.

In all seriousness I appreciate and hate this move at the same time, it’s fucking with my mind. Did Daniel Carvajal bite him? Who’s to say? Did Carvajal purposefully use the nebulous nature of the human nervous system to draw attention away from the bite and toward where he was punched in the chest? Is that why Mandžukić levied no complaint about such an en vogue tactical footballing maneuver as a bite? Again only the Tiger-Rat can know.

All said, we can be sure of one thing, Mandžukić got fucked up in this game, the bloody face, getting punched and bitten and shit, which is kinda tight. But damn. Carvajal harried and harassed him all game, which was both admirable and piteous in its fervent and objectionable zeal. I guess that’s what a good defender does, but it seems to be in bad taste to bite and punch a fellow player. That said, cheers to a fascinating 0-0 draw. (and no disrespect to Carvajal, he’s fkn good af in fifa, which is all that really matters)

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