three danish national team players celebrate goal jubilantly

USMNT Don’t Kill My Vibe: Sexually Arousing Backheel of the Week

Well, it’s Tuesday which can only mean one thing… it’s time for the sexually arousing backheel of the week! Last week’s uncomfortable degree of intimacy was brought to you by the bottom of Benzema’s right boot; this week its Denmark’s feisty winger Lasse Vibe. Although I have no fucking idea how Vibe is pronounced in Danish, he undeniably sent vibes of arousal shooting throughout spectators’ happy places worldwide with this beauty. The tap in was finished by Bendtner (or, as he’s known to himself, “God”) lacking any style or flare, much like his style of play in general. But, alas, he netted a hat trick and offered a “no thank you” to the post-imperialist gemeinschaft of the good ol’ US of A. We may be able to defeat any opponent in armed warfare (even concepts like “drugs” and “terror”), but when it comes to world football we couldn’t even stick it to an entire nation of hyper-literate blonde people. Maybe next time, boys. Video below.

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